


Songs Like Magic

by harukji



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Comfort, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy references to chapter 20, Holding Hands, How Do I Tag, Hugs, M/M, Making Out, References to Canon, Self-Doubt, Sleepy Cuddles, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, heavy spoilers, implied panic attacks, listen if Natsuki isn't gonna tell us what happened after ch28 then I will, we don't get enough fics of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harukji/pseuds/harukji
Summary: "Akihiko?" His other hand fidgeted, kneading his own fingernails into his soft palm before reaching gently towards Aki as the drummer took his hand and stood himself up. Looking at the other man as a gentle smile spread across his face, his eyes glimmered with a somber sparkle."Let's go back to my place."A continuation on what happens after Akihiko’s confession, and the boys attempt to find the rhythm that they once had before the incident - this time as lovers.-(01/03/21 : Updated chapters, changed the formatting and dialouge. Thank you for the continued support on this fic! ♡)
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 29
Kudos: 165





	1. falling in love once more.

**Author's Note:**

> We don't get enough fics of post chapter 28, especially fluffy ones, and so I decided to expand on what happened and here is my take on it! Enjoy 💖

**_Mafuyu's songs are like magic. It makes me feel like... I want to try falling in love once more._**

*

Night dawns, the sky in a shroud of dark blue, as the world slowly revolves around Akihiko and Haruki for that one moment. 

The breeze was cold, yet it only burnt with the warm faces of the bassist and drummer, their cheeks airbrushed with heat as a shy rose hue appeared which only lingered as time passed by ever so slowly.

Heartbeats synced perfectly like a repaired symphony as the two clung onto eachother with such great need, almost chiselling their marks as they dug their fingernails so deeply into the backs of the other as they embraced one another in a hug.

It was a strange feeling. The feel was euphoric, yet a thin barrier resignated between the two. Scared, petrified to hurt eachother again, but Akihiko so desperately wanted to amend repairs to their relationship, gain the what seemed to be lost trust again. And Haruki wanted Aki to forgive himself. It felt like they were both holding their breath as the two let out a shaky, blissful sigh, pulling apart from eachother. Haruki's eyes fell to the ground as they pricked with tears which threatened to paint his flushed cheeks, but, with great hesitation, Akihiko slowly reached out a shaking hand and wiped away a tear with calloused fingertips, he himself attempting to hold himself together as he slid that hand down the side of his soft face. Haruki closed his eyes, leaning closer towards the warmth of Aki's hands. At that moment, as he looked up at him, Akihiko so desperately longed to touch Haruki's lips, gently plant a loving kiss. It's what he deserves, but he knew it would have to wait for the right time. He didn't know when, but he could wait. 

"Ah..." the bassist's eyelids fluttered open, slipping away from Aki's hand to stand up, his knees shaking ever so slightly. He rubbed his eyes, brushed his coat down while Aki stared up at him, wondering if he accidentally crossed a line. Haru slowly let the tip of his index finger reach the rim of his pursed bottom lip as he loosely traced the outline of it, wondering what to say next as that hand fell in front of his chin, just below his lip and averted his eyes as he fluttered them shut. "Akihiko?" His other hand fidgeted, kneading his own fingernails into his soft palm before reaching gently towards Aki as the drummer took his hand and stood himself up. Looking at the other man as a gentle smile spread across his face, his eyes glimmered with a somber sparkle. 

"Let's go back to my place."

There was a heavy weight in Aki's heart that threatened to drop when he heard those words. To him, Haruki's apartment is almost like a sanctuary to him, and it made him want to burst out crying out of relief that he finally has that haven that he could finally return to. Their days spent together in Haruki's apartment was only filled with joy and amusement, constantly smiling as the two laughed their way through the night, burning through cigarettes and empty cans of beer. After being forced to stay in unfamiliar places and Ugetsu's house, he was finally, truly safe. And he could _breathe_.

Terrible feelings of shame came with waking up in stranger's beds. He was ashamed with what he was doing just so that he had a place to stay. Selling his body like a fucking gigolo. Breathless, constantly being on edge, scouting for more places to sleep in and for people to buy his shameful biddings. He didn't want to open his eyes. Most importantly, he wanted anyone but Haruki to know what he was doing, and what he would have thought of him. 

Especially after what Akihiko did to him in the past - that time felt almost unreal, and their bond was merely tied by a loose thread of string which threatened to snap if he managed to fuck up just the _tiniest_ bit.

Just 7 months ago it was so hard to look at Haruki, seeing how hurt he was. How much hatred and pain that must have stirred up inside his mind, trauma and anxiety hidden by a beautiful fake smile that he would flash occasionally at the younger band members during those days in band practise. 

Flinching at the tiniest movements that Akihiko directed towards him was one that hurt the most. 

Days like that felt like he was constantly followed by a thick, ominous haze which strangled his thoughts, unable to think properly. 

And it was suffocating.

But now he was safe. 

And how Haruki was able to forgive him he didn't know, but it was a miracle nonetheless. 

"Okay. I- I'll drive us there with my motorcycle, it's parked just down in the outskirts of the city," the younger muttered, "It's the least I could do."

The man was too kind to Aki. He didn't deserve to be spoilt like a brat by such a generous person. 

*

As the two walked side by side next to eachother, they did not say much, the silence deafening. Cicadas and passing cars interrupted the silence, almost filling in the gaps of the tension. 

They had no clue on what to talk about, every single conversation starter was nothing but a blur in Akihiko's mind and the same was with Haruki. 

Instead, they basked in the company of one another, Aki shoving his hands in the comfort of their pockets to shield them from the unforgiving cold while Haruki let his hang by his sides. 

The sky became darker as time went by, the sunset sky was painted with rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples and crimson. A warm canvas, slowly being covered by the true night sky. 

Both purposefully avoided eye contact, as they can still tell that there was a faint resonance of their shared blushes on eachother's faces. 

Occasionally they would steal glances at eachother, pupils like a metronome as they flicked back and forth at one another other. Why was it the air between them so tense? Hasn't he already been forgiven? Or maybe things were moving too fast... 

Akihiko wanted to break the pressure badly. He was scared that this is what their relationship was going to come to. He had to do something. Something not so boring so that it lasts for a few seconds and returns to the dreadful silence, yet not something too bold and ambitious. 

Fidgeting with his hands in his pocket, he chewed his lip piercing as he stared at the dirt path in front of him. Small sediments were crushed under his polished black shoes as he kicked a pebble continuously before he pressed it to the ground, securing it in its place. 

_It's now or never._

He lifted his head up and looked towards Haruki ever so slightly. He observed the other man's movement.

Haruki looked straight ahead, a thick lock of blonde hair covered his caramel eyes from his side, giving him an almost anonymous profile. Although he couldn't see his eyes, his lips were pursed, almost as if they were holding back something. His blush was still prominent and he was quiet. 

The drummer removed his warm hand from the safety of his pockets. 

They trembled. 

A simple task like holding someone's hand was easy for a charmer such as Akihiko, in fact he's done much more bolder things to previous lovers. 

_Why was it so hard to do the same things with Haruki?_

After letting his hand flail beside him for a while, he finally mustered the hidden courage inside him which he had to dig deep for. 

And so, with an inhale, he brushed his hand against Haruki's. The bassist responding with a sharp inhale as his hand jerked back and Aki pulled away, looking straight ahead. 

_"Fuck. I rushed,"_ he thought, cursing himself as he balled his hand into a tense fist. Immediately, he turned his gaze towards the path in front of him, feeling the heat of his face rise up in shame as he hung his thumb into his pocket, the other fingers digging into the side of his leg while his brain ran off, thinking of every possible outcome that could have been triggered from that single movement.

Not long after, however, he found Haruki's cold calloused fingertips stroke against his. They were nervous, reluctant,

_Forgiving_.

Akihiko released his tense hand from hiding, sliding out his thumb to meet the bassist's hand which dangled just a few millimetres away from eachother. Side to side, their fingers found themselves brushing against eachother, caressing and urging eachother to make a move on one another, meek and timid...

And finally, they linked their pinky fingers together. 

The two subtly looked around them, taking a moment to scan their surroundings. 

_Empty_. 

From a few more fingers linking, they finally progressed to an interlocking of their hands.

An amused huff escapes from Haruki's mouth as his lips spread once again into a gentle smile, softly chuckling to himself as Aki looked back towards him with a flustered look, taking in every single detail of what he was looking at at that very second. He was star-struck by the view. 

Haruki's short golden locks bounced with every step he took, almost animated with voluminosity. It wasn't the typical colour of hair either, one that wasn't a few shades more vibrant than the average blonde. It was streaked with naturally warm reddish hues and butterscotch. It gave him some warmth, complementing his pale face rather than making him look washed-out. The scrunch that the bridge of his nose did whenever he laughed like this was adorable, to say the least. It felt like the old times. It felt so good. 

"Oi, what's so funny?" Akihiko remarked, inching closer towards the bassist with every step that they took. 

"Ah, don't worry," he wiped stray tears with the sleeve of his coat and sniffed. "It's just, ever since I first saw you," he turned his head downwards to their intertwining hands, "I've always wanted to do something like this with you". 

A fuzzy feeling expanded slowly in the taller man's chest as Haruki's hand squeezed his hand a bit more tighter. 

"And I'm just, so happy..." he looked up and back at Akihiko, his face with a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through the drummer. 

He wanted to kiss him right then and there. 

"Mhm, me too," Kaji muttered as he averted his eye contact to hopefully mask his bashful expression. 

"Ehh? No way! You were wayyy out of my league back then and I'm convinced that you still are," Haruki's voice was softly returning back to it's chipper rhythm so casually, as if they weren't holding hands right then and there. 

"More like I'm out of yours, I feel like I'm too much of an asshole to be with someone like you," he scratched the back of his head with his free hand, dropping it back to his side as he tilted his head towards the stars which began to peek through the blanket of the sunset sky. Silhouettes of birds glid through the indigo streaked ether, they were on their way back to their nest, ready to end the day.

"I could never take my eyes off of you when I saw you around campus, even when I was with Ugetsu, something was so magnetising about your personality and charm. So unique compared to the people who constantly tried to hit on me."

Haruki snickered and playfully, but gently, barged himself into Akihiko, "Look at you being a charmer, and stop with the compliments, you're gonna make me explode into a blushing mess in a minute!". 

"Eh, I simply can't help myself," the drummer flashed him with a smug face, chin rested in the angle of his thumb and index finger in a tilted finger gun. 

"Besides," 

With a prestigious sounding voice, he sneered, "I am, what one may call me, a lady's man," as the combined laughter of the two men filled the reticence of the night.

After making a few more inside jokes about their life in university and the band, an idea came to Haruki's mind as he recovered back his breath from laughing. 

"Hey, let's make a detour at the 7-Eleven before going back to my place, I wanna grab a few snacks and drinks," he chirped. "I was thinking we could play Tekken on my PS4, just like old times." 

"While we were drunk, stuffed and high as fuck? Count me in!" Akihiko exclaimed before halting, "Tekken sucks though, why not Street Fighter?" 

Haruki rolled his eyes, "We _always_ play Street Fighter when you come over." 

"Hey, it's way better, sorry, you can't change my mind." 

"Eh, alright, anyway I'm thinking maybe a few cans of Sapporo to end the night, then we can stuff ourselves with chips." 

"Sure, sure, but I get to pick AND pay for which snacks we get, because you choose some terrible variety, and I never wanna eat those Oishi chips again." 

"Suit yourself, but It's more about playing the game and hanging out with you rather than the food," Haruki chuckled, mindlessly replying to his partner as he was reminiscing on their glory days, the peak of their friendship. He remembers all of the spilt beer, the crumbs of chips and the sounds of errupting laughter from his small apartment while they babbled about the most mindless things. The sounds of the beating of the drums and the vibrations of the bass which swirled together to create a melody that was candy to his ears whenever they had a short jam session. The constant touching of his once long hair between the drummer's fingers.

Even if it hurt to pine for him back then, those were some of the best days of his life around Akihiko. A little nostalgia trip be fun. It would sort them back into clicking with eachother again. 

It really needed to click together quick, though. Despite thinking that they found their rhythm with eachother again, the two could both feel that the conversation they were having was beginning to die down. Besides, there is only so little you could talk about snacks. And so the air became thick with stress once again, a small surge of panic surging through Haruki's body. 

What to do? There was still so much time to burn left too while walking to the convenience store. He was grasping at straws, hearing the awkward tone in Aki's voice as he poorly attempted small talk, bumbling like an idiot. He couldn't bear the silence, already feeling the unecessary worries seep into his head. 

Maybe he was overthinking it too much. It didn't need to be so complicated, so why make it? He grabbed the final idea in his mind, and rolled with it.

Before he knew it, his other hand reaching for Aki's and tugged him into a long, soft kiss, interrupting another poor attempt at his minimalistic chatter. Haru was on the tip of his toes as he stumbled forward into him, eyelids fluttering shut. 

_What was he doing?!_

It was too late now, his body reacted quicker before his mind and now his lips were on his. Perhaps all those years of pining left him with a single braincell that yelled at him to kiss the drummer. 

The taller, on the other hand, was taken aback at first. Aki's body tensed in a state of surprise, as he stammered back, processing what was happening and how unreal this sensation felt. He didn't know where to put his hands or whether or not to close his eyes, to deepen the kiss or leave it as it is. 

It's as if all past experience he has had with past lovers was thrown out the window. He'd usually be good at something like this, knowing exactly what to do as he goes through a mental checklist of things he would have done to leave the person wanting more. 

However, Haruki was different. 

He wanted to be gentle with him and embrace him like he meant it. To satisfy both him and his partner without crossing his thin boundary. Usually, with previous partners, he'd be kissing for the sake of it, to pleasure the other without any thought. On the other hand, with a circumstance like this, he so desperately wanted to convey his true feelings towards the bassist. Something more meaningful than a sloppy make-out session like one too many that he had in the past, and it was starting to get boring. 

And so, when Haruki pulled away, his body trembling, Akihiko closed his eyes, pulled him back in by waist and kissed him gently, and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, affectionate in ways that words would never be. His hand made his way to his temple before tucking a stray, golden lock of hair behind the older man's ear and tilting his face up towards his as their breaths mingled. Haruki's hands made their way to Akihiko's shoulders, using them to push himself up and add a bit more depth to the kiss without using tounge by tilting his head. He wasn't that comfortable yet, but that was okay with Kaji.

They departed with a shaky breath and looked into eachother's eyes, a warm smile stretched across both of their faces as they chuckled softly. 

"What was that even for, Haru?" Needless to say, the man was awestruck: confused, flustered, but over the moon. Such a bold and unexpected move for someone like Haruki. 

"Couldn't bear to hear my horrible attempts at conversation?" The older rolled his eyes in a bashful manner, warmth creeping to his ears as a wobbly grin turned his lips. "I just felt like it, to be honest with you. Besides, you kissed me back, stupid, and it was getting a bit too awkward."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," Akihiko teased. 

"I'm just saying the truth," he tucked a hair behind his ear before he fumbled with his hands, "Sorry bout that. I guess I'm just a bit too excited and I went a bit far there, didn't I?" His gaze dropped to the floor, stroking his lip with his index finger. He was both ashamed at his instincts and how far he went without asking Akihiko as he tried to process his actions. 

"What? _Too_ far? You have nothing to apologize for, Haru!" he exclaimed. He turned towards the bassist, lifting his chin up with a finger and stared softly back into his caramel brown eyes, twinkling brightly underneath the arising moonlight, purged with confusion and doubt. "You're acting as if you just tried to murder me, it was completely fine, and if we could I'd love to do that again with you." A fuzzy sensation arose in Haru's chest when he said those words, surprised by them. Aki seemed shocked by his own words too, ignoring how needy he sounded as a scarlet blush deepened the colour of his light skin. 

He wasn't lying though. 

Haruki huffed, "I guess I am sorta overreacting," he reached towards Aki's black coat where he adjusted the folds of the triangular flaps, "I mean, you are my boyfriend after all..." the last few words dissipated into thin air, hushed by his shyness. 

Aki smiled secretly to himself. For once in his love life, he felt truly happy to be called someone's lover. A man who he truly felt connected with, and was so darn lucky to call him his own too. 

"I'm still trying to process in my brain what's happening and trying to adjust to this new relationship I have with you, I guess. But... " A gentle, sweet smile crept upon his lips, eyes crinkling. "I hope we can be toge-" 

He stopped his sentence, blinking and realising what he was about to say. Haruki lightly chuckled to himself as he grabbed Aki by the hand and continued to walk, the taller complying. The 7-Eleven wasn't far now.

"Bleugh, I was about to say the cheesiest thing, I'm so glad I stopped myself before I said anything else." 

"What was it gonna be?" 

"Something that I would think about 10 years from now and still feel the urge to fling myself out a window because of it." 

Kaji turned and smirked at him, "Well, now I'm curious," he buzzed, stroking his thumb against the back of Haruki's hand, almost urging him to say it.

The bassist insisted at first, not wanting to mentally scar himself with embarrassment. However, after a bit of pestering, he let out a sigh, inhaled and muttered under his breath.

"I hope we can be together forever, even if it may start off rough. Even through those hard times, I promise I will be there to help you, even if I may not be enough for you."

Snickering, the drummer imitated the sounds of a puke, "Bleck, that was cliché as hell, but I love it," Haru whined as he hid his lovely deep blush with his free hand. "See? That's what I meant! Never saying shit like that again, it was gross."

"Haah," Akihiko exhaled, " 'm only kidding, that was cute! It's mutual, and you're more than enough, Haru, I don't know why you'd say otherwise."

He ruffled the other's thick, golden hair with his free hand playfully, feeling like silk between his fingers as Haruki scrambled to fix it right after with an adorably humiliated face, muttering something about it being a heat of the moment thing.

"Have a bit more confidence in yourself." 

They swiftly let go of eachother's hands as they entered a more public area, wary of the sounds of cars and chatter rushing through the streets growing ever so loudly with every step they took. They couldn't risk getting the attention of the public eye and starting rumors about their relationship, even if they were a part of a lowkey, indie band. However, they let their hands stroke against eachother. 

It made the two look at eachother and grin with sweet delight, eyes illuminated with joy with the glint of the street lights. 

They let their pinky fingers intertwine shyly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I wrote this was very poetic and detailed, and I blame creative writing class on that haha. I hope it's not too dramatic!  
> EDIT: Changed a few words and a typo.


	2. learning to forgive yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this was going to be a 2 part fic but then I realised it was getting a bit too long, so I decided to stretch it into 3 chapters! The 3rd should be coming out straight after this 😌💖

After crossing a few streets, the two men stepped into the 7-Eleven, raiding every shelf full of chips and alcohol. They must have looked ridiculous, both wearing fairly formal clothing while the two ran around the convenience store with stacks of goodies in their hands. Akihiko and Haruki were the equivalent to excited teenagers who were about to gorge themselves with an unhealthy amount of junk food at a sleepover, and it was exhilaratingly fun. It didn't help that the drummer was able to bribe Uenoyama into giving his employee discount, giving them a 10% off of their purchases. The poor kid, he was probably already asleep, judging by the passive aggressive texts he forwarded towards Akihiko with a prominent use of the ":))" emoticon. The amount of rage that radiated from those smiles were terrifying. 

Many gave them strange looks as they laughed and snickered around the store.

"Should we buy this?" 

"No way, we already have enough sweets, go get some chips instead!" 

"Haha, fine, I'm picking the flavour!" 

"Aki, I swear, if you choose those weird Calbee chips-"

The poor employees were practically begging for the end of their shift as the grown men clamoured beer and snacks on the counter. It came to a whopping total of ¥4636.73 and they both payed half each before swooping the bags and stumbling out with heavy baggage on either of their hands.

"God, I cannot WAIT to eat all of these," The rustling of the packaged treats were like ringing bags of money to Akihiko's ears as they banged against his leg. 

"Same here," Haruki beamed, "I could crack open a can right now, you know, I think they allow public drinking here?" He observed the glinting cans of silver in the white plastic bag, tempted to grab one out and chug it. 

"That can wait when we get back though, let's just focus on finding my motorcycle first which is right..." The two turned the corner to find an almost empty parking lot, and his polished, black vehicle glinted underneath an illuminated lamp post. "...there!"

Underneath the light, Aki flipped open the compartment and took out the motorcycle helmet which took up the majority of the space in there. They ditched the six pack rings, stuffing all the loose silver cans from Haruki's bag into the storage stuffing it into to throw away later at home. Poorly, they attempted to stuff the smaller packets of chips, thank god Aki had a bike with more storage room, and they shut the door.

"Okay, uh..." the younger clamoured onto the motorcycle inserting the key into the mechanism. It gently purred into life, riled with energy as he turned the key. He slipped on the helmet, his sharp eyes shining through the small glass shielding of the accessory as he pat the seat behind him. "I don't have a spare helmet on me right now, so you're just gonna have to shield your eyes as best as you can."

Haruki slipped onto the spare seating, Akihiko feeling the pressure of the older on his back as he leaned forward and held the drummer closer to him. His heart skipped a beat, pulsating quick as his hands slithered around his waist, feeling the older melt into his back. "You ready, Haru?" he cleared his throat, attempting to collect himself at the sudden contact as he looked back at his new lover who hummed in response. 

The two men breezed through the streets of Tokyo, Haruki opening his eyes the slightest bit as he became star-struck with the view. He admired the kaleidoscope of bright colours, shining softly upon every polished surface. Streaks of pink, blue and purple highlighted Akihiko's helmet as they rushed passed the flashy advertisements amongst the faint ambience of the bustling city life around the area. The scenery spread around them, overwhelming with the shining radiance of the artificial electric lights. They gleamed from every corner, buildings both huge and tiny gone in the blink of an eye due to the exhilarating speeds. It was as if someone took a handful of glitter and thrown it as far as the eye could see. Each stunning aspect of the animated city all intertwined together in a magnificent mess of a dream as Akihiko swiftly slipped through the gaps between the cars.

Occasionally, at every stop, the drummer would turn his head towards the other, shooting him with a small "You good?" to which he would reply with a small nod or a shy hum. 

This continued not long before Aki swerved into the parking lot of the apartments, where they enthusiastically mounted off the motorcycle to grab every single item that they bought from the storage compartment. Using the younger's helmet as a make-shift basket, they stuffed the majority of the chips into Akihiko's headgear before Haru scooped all the loose silver cans of beer into his arms. The bassist scanned his key fob to open the main entrance to the apartments and the two proceeded to stumble up the stairs. 

"Just put the stuff on the coffee table in front of the TV," Haruki exclaimed as he swung the door open. "Aah, I haven't been in this apartment for ages!" Aki sighed as he followed on behind the other, "Make yourself at home," he smiled, "I'm just gonna change and freshen up in the bathroom, boot up the PS4 for now."

It felt good to hear those words again. He was hit with a strong scent, a fragrance of faint cigarette smoke and citric fruits which could only be Haruki's iconic scent. The smell made him smile, it reminded him that he was in the right place. However, Akihiko felt a bit off as he lingered around the entrance, he wondered why.

As Haru went into his room to grab a few pyjamas, Kaji slipped off his jacket and hung it up on the coat racks before making his way over back to the living room to sit down and turn on the... 

Ah.

_That couch._

The drummer's body became tense with anxiety and a strange, unpleasant fuzzy sensation engulfed his head. It started off as nothing but a bother, brushing it off as he walked, but it soon began to overwhelm every part of him with every step he got closer towards it. 

This is stupid. You're overreacting. Get over it, it's alright now. 

But why could he not stop thinking about it? 

God, he felt sick to his stomach. Kaji could remember everything so clearly, every single thing coming together like pieces of glass from a broken mirror. He didn't want to remember, but it all came flooding back. For some reason the reaction it envoked felt more severe. To be fair, the last time he was here was a few months now ever since he moved out and was too busy to focus on what he initially did that he guess he just...repressed it hard in his mind. He knew he messed up. He just wanted to forget everything. Everything. Everything was resurfacing just too fast. 

_He didn't deserve to have Haruki._

_He'd be better off without him._

The drummer's legs felt heavy, and he couldn't move, but he felt like he wanted to _run_.

All of those memories came back to hurt him, and it manifested deeply in his chest as his breath began to heighten.

It felt heavy on his heart to re-live where it happened. 

_He's doing all of this out of pity._

**_He doesn't actually love you._ **

Hands cold, his entire body trembling. He's always felt these sensations, but this was stronger than ever. Every line was perfectly memorised by his thoughts. The begs and cries of Haruki repeated constantly like a broken record stabbing at his mind. Yet he nearly kept going on that day. He took control of his fears and used it against him, left him devastated and for what? To take out his anger on him? Just because he could? Could he not see how much pain and hurt he was in? 

And another thought intruded his mind. 

What if he

**never stopped?**

Haruki would have been broken beyond repair, like fine China shattered into crumbs of porcelain.

Who knows what kind of stuff that Haruki would do to himself if he was left alone? 

He didn't want to think about it but...

Akihiko thought about that

**alot.**

...and it would be all his fault. 

He is the reason for his trauma. And maybe _he_ waspartly the reason to his anxiety issues. 

**Why.**

_**Just why.** _

The only thing that Akihiko ever knew was that sexual favours were the only thing which kept relationships in tact, a remedy for confliction. That's what he taught himself through a year or so of "being with" Ugetsu and doing people's sexual favours.

He was scared that he was going to lose Haruki when he said he was going to play support for his ex-girlfriend's band, and he was desperate to make him stay. So, naturally, Aki thought that if he pleasured him he would stay with him.

**Haruki liked him after all.**

He knew he brought this all upon himself. He was the reason he felt like this or why anything happened. His stomach twisted at his crude way of thinking. How disgusting he was. How wrong he was. How any sane person could think like that and still consider themself a human. 

The broken stare that Haruki had from band practice the day after still haunts him even after many long months. 

**_Why even bother? This doesn't feel right._ **

His breathing pattern erratically fluctuates, and all he hears is the pounding in his chest and he can't silence his thoughts, losing his control as the memories relapse his mind **.**

**And he wants to get _OUT._ **

**_I'm not the one that should be panicking. Why am I? Haruki was the one that I hurt. That I tr_ _aumatised. I did this to him._**

_I'm acting like the victim._

**_Like the pathetic child I am._ **

**_A better person will take care of Haruki._ **

**_Just forget it._**

**_You will hurt him again._ **

_Get out._

_**Get**_

_**OUT**_

**NOW**

"Ah, Aki?"

Haruki's voice brought him back to where he remembered where he was, a symphony to his ears which steadily cleansed his mind. Akihiko blinked and realised how he must have looked, shoulders stiff as his chest slightly puffed up and down irregularly, his eyebrows scrunching up ever so slightly. He took a deep inhale and cleared his throat.

"Yo, what's up?" trying to appear as content as he could staring back at Haruki. 

The other had a mallow glint of worry in his eyes, a bundle of clothes wrapped in his arms, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, just thinking about things." 

He shook his head, "I'll turn on the console now-" Before Akihiko could walk off, he felt the small tug at the back of his black button up. 

"Hey, no, what's wrong?" Haruki spoke in a hushed tone. He put his free hand on his shoulder, not wanting to hug him and give him space if he needed it. 

"I'm fine, just let me go-" 

"No, tell me."

"It's nothing, it's alright." 

Haruki tugged a bit harder. 

"Look at me, what's wrong? I'm scared, you know-" 

"Do you _really_ want me here? Or did you just go out with me out of pity? " He turned around to meet the bassist's eyes, his own sulky with genuine uncertainty as his tilted breath made his chest arise and descend unsteadily. 

Haruki was stunned by the sudden slight outburst, flinching his arm back as he peered back into his shining, olive green eyes. His tone was raised and stern, and It didn't make sense to him before he peeked behind the blonde's tall figure.

Aki's eyes widened, realising how aggressive he sounded. He must have sounded as if he was vouching for attention, but it was really just reassurance he craved. He covered his face with his other hand. 

" _Fuck_ , sorry about that. I- I'm just a bit on edge right now but I'll just..." 

"Aki," he dropped his pile of clothes to the side on a tabletop, "Of course I want you here, why would I invite you here if you didn't?" 

Hesitantly, Haru pulled Aki's hand away from his face and placed his own hands on both of Akihiko's toned biceps, stroking up and down his arms soothingly as his gaze softened, maintaining eye contact. 

"Whatever you did here before doesn't matter anymore and I don't plan on holding any grudge against you because _I trust you_." His hands stopped at the wrists and squeezed them gently. 

"I forgive you, you just have to learn to forgive yourself." 

Akihiko's shoulders eased as he took in Haruki's beautiful smile, the corner of his eyes crinkling, and felt as if he was injected with serotonin. He couldn't help but smile back as the bassist slipped his hands down and shyly interlocked their fingers. 

"It's going to be hard though. I fucked up everything, and I'm scared I'll mess up again," he squeezed Haru's hands. 

"But you won't, I know you changed. Don't worry."

Akihiko sighed. "...I'll try" 

"It's all I ask."

Aki let go of his hands. 

... 

"You're very pretty." 

Needless to say, the older was stunned and confused by the sudden compliment as the taller reached near his face, holding a tuft of Haruki's hair in his palm. 

"Wh-?" 

It was like a stream of light threaded into hair as he tucked it behind his ear, stopping midway. 

He looked at the bassist, whose face was airbrushed with a shy blush which crept on his cheeks and all the way to his ears.

"May I?" 

The other couldn't help but blurt out a "Go ahead," in a flustered, higher pitched tone. The drummer then proceeded to thread his hands through his short thick locks of fair velvet hair, massaging it deeply to which he was rewarded with a restful hum which quivered from the older's lips. His eyes fluttered shut, leaning closer into the touch of Akihiko's hands as he continued to smile contently. It was as if he was petting a delicate cat, the constant hums of approval like a purring feline. "You really like my hair, huh..." Haru murmured. The younger truly was smitten. 

"Figured you would have known that by now, it's so soft, and beautiful, and the colour is so pretty...I love it" Akihiko muttered before a small yelp escaped from Haruki's mouth as he was pulled into a hug. Aki's arms slumped around the shorter man's shoulders as the other quickly relaxed into it, snuggling his face into the crook of his neck.

"What would I do without you, Nakayama..." For a while the two swayed there in the middle of the small hallway, lightly embracing one another.

Aki still couldn't believe how lucky he was. 

They pulled apart and Haru rested a hand on the taller's shoulder with a tender gaze. "I promise I'll change it someday in the future so you can feel more comfortable but uh, we can sit on the floor in the meantime I guess?"

"Wow, the floor," the drummer exclaimed sarcastically. 

"I know right? How luxurious." They chuckled softly in amusement before Akihiko rolled his eyes, ruffling Haruki's hair again. 

"Thank you, Haruki." 

"Gah! How many times are you gonna do that today?!" The bassist slithered out from his touch and slapped away the drummer's hand playfully while one of his hands fixed his tousled hair. "But yeah, no problem," he cooed, plotting a delicate kiss on Akihiko's cheek before continuing to the bathroom where the drummer heard the door lock and the sound of running water from the shower. 

_Huh_ , he placed a palm on the cheek, it's as if it burnt a mark into his skin, but in a pleasant way. He heard a melodic tune waver from the bathroom, Haruki humming their latest song that they performed at the CAC festival and later a symphony that Akihiko performed at his concert. 

He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes and covered his entire face with his hands which blushed with a lovely scarlet red. His lips wobbled into a smile. "Ah, fuck," he whispered to himself, "What am I getting myself into..." Aki dropped his hand to his side as his heart fluttered. He really does mean it whenever he tells him that he's always saving his ass: just like that his mind was clear and the anxiety he felt before subsided. 

He seated himself onto the floor in front of the glass coffee table, logging into his account on the PS4 with the controller he just connected and picked a disc from a heavy collection of games underneath the TV. His finger ran through the stack, the surface like a small bumpy road as he finally wedged out a copy of Street Fighter V. He clicked open the case and inserted the disc that he took out. He heard the console process it, soft mechanical buzzing sounds emitting from it as the tab on the TV appeared with the cover art. Unbuttoning the first button on his shirt, he selected the game with the click of the button and, once loaded, he dropped himself into an arena where he sparred with a CPU to warm himself up. Akihiko was fully invested, reminding himself with the multiple combos which he quickly managed to pick up again. 

A handful of minutes passed before beyond the animated sound effects booming from the speakers, he could hear the whirring of Haruki's hairdryer, followed by the flick of a switch and the unlocking of the door. 

"Ready to lose, Ha-ru? You've left me too much time to practice and I'm all warmed u..."

Akihiko flicked his head to his right as he saw the man exit from the steamy bathroom. His heart must've been pierced by Cupid's arrow, because he looked...gorgeous. 

He was wearing a green, loose t-shirt, his hair adorabley messy. Haruki's hair looked like threads of glossy honey as it fell in every right place on his face and he looked so damn pretty it was crazy. How a man that looked like that lacked confidence was a mystery to Akihiko. Below the long shirt was a pair of black shorts with a white stripe running down his hip, exposing legs that were quite thin, yet toned and sculpted perfectly. Best of all, rested on the bridge of his nose was a pair of glasses framed with a thin gold lining.

For months Akihiko and the younger boys often theorised that Haruki actually wore contact lenses, meaning that he needed glasses. They came to this conclusion as the blonde always complained about his eyes drying out, so naturally it either meant Haruki wore lenses or he just really needed to see a doctor. 

It was almost like a myth that he wore glasses, but it was true, and Akihiko was probably, and definitely, the first one in the band to see Haruki wearing glasses.

And my GOD he was attractive.

His heart skipped a beat, yet he managed to just keep his cool. Akihiko swallowed hard, huffing a short exhale and resisted the urge to say anything as he turned back to his character who has just been hit with a finishing move, from a fucking _CPU_ , which just made the man feel even more stupid. 

"Are you actually though? You just got destroyed by a bot!" Haruki laughed, grabbing a cold can of Sapporo from the table before cracking one open, the sizzling sound like music to his ears. He took a large gulp, the alcohol sitting crisp and fresh on his tounge as he sat cross legged next to Akihiko. 

"Well yeah, I was, actually, before you distracted me," he mumbled, snatching the free controller from the TV stand and slapped it in Haruki's palm. "Now finish that sip of beer so I can destroy you." 

"I'd like to see you try." 

Stuffing their mouths with various potato snacks, the two men continued to yell profanities at one another as the night swallowed the sunset sky, washing down the savoury treats with unhealthy amounts of beer, and soon enough they burned through all of the stock. Silver cans were scattered across the floor, chip packets crinkling under their feet whenever one person stood up and cheered in victory. The two were fairly tipsy by now, having gone through 3 cans each of the Sapporo 6 pack which they indulged in. For the majority of the rounds that they had, Haruki was victorious almost every time. He's always been the type to master games during his free time, and Street Fighter V was one of them. 

"BULLSHIT! I CALL _BULLSHIT_!" 

Akihiko pointed at the TV screen, where Haru's character was barely alive, yet still managed to sweep Akihiko's.

"YOU'RE JUST BAD AT THE GAME!" 

He downed his last can of beer as he demanded another rematch. At this point, both were surprised that they didn't receive an angry phone call from Haruki's neighbours. After all, they cackled and shouted loud - obnoxiously loud - as they continued to play. It felt great, just like the old times. 

However, the more the alcohol settled in, the more Haruki was prone to losing, his reaction times becoming sloppy which led to more victories for the younger.

Eventually, the two were both falling victim to the beer, the alcohol slowly seeping into their heads as they spammed moves at one another mindlessly as they both gawked at the screen. 

"Hmm, I'm a bit tired now, you wanna watch a movie?" Haruki yawned, looking at Akihiko, whose top 3 buttons became undone during their wild game night.

"Waaaaait... " 

The bassist then heard the Perfect K.O sound effect boom through the speaker, followed by his own grousing character crashing through a wall as the younger's taunted. His controller vibrated in his hands as he smiled, rolling his eyes at the drummer. "Are you done yet?" 

"Just about," Aki snickered, placing the controller in front of him on the TV stand as he picked up the trash around him, placing it on the table behind him. "So what are you in the mood to watch?"

"Mm, you choose," Haruki stood up and grabbed a plastic bag from the kitchen, returning to sweep the trash on the table into the bag before washing his hands. 

By the time he came back, Akihiko had put on one of the latest movies that he's seen a handful of times already. At least Haruki hasn't watched it before, since he was a film major his taste in films was alot more refined compared to his and would watch only the best. Aki was the kind of person to watch something just because it was just there in the cinema and he would look at the poster and think "Yeah, looks good enough".

"Think fast!" Haruki called before tossing a loose roll of a fresh t-shirt and jogging pants from the entrance of his room all the way to his partner. Unfortunately, he didn't react quick enough, he could thank the alcohol for that, and turned to get clobbed by a bundle of clothing in the face. All the garments unravelled from the roll, resulting in Akihiko being draped with clothes on his head. 

"AH! Heyyy, fuck off!" Haruki chuckled as his boyfriend fumbled to get the clothes off. "What are these for anyway?" Akihiko asked, holding the soft grey shirt and black sweatpants. 

"Well, what else would they be for? Get comfortable, you're not gonna sleep with that suit on," He smiled as he walked to the kitchen, gesturing behind him. "Use my room to change, I'm gonna make us something to sober up."

The sound from the TV filled in the blank spaces before Aki hummed his thanks and he stood up to go to his room, locking the door behind him. He flicked on the lights. 

_Fuuuuuuuuuck._

Already sharing clothes, huh. He leaned against the door and felt the shirt and pants in his hands. They were both soft to the touch, the shirt thin and the sweatpants thick with a small logo embroided on the hip. He took off his clothes then put them on. 

The jogging pants were a very nice fit, not too loose yet not too tight either. However, the shirt that was built for a much more lean structure was a bit tight due to his wide built posture, but Akihiko didn't bother to change, he could survive with it. Besides, he was too caught up in the pleasant scent that wafted into his nose. 

The scent was laced with a zesty orange, but also a small hint of vanilla was prominent and he felt intoxicated. He smelt it before when he entered the apartment, but it was alot more prominent now that he was actually wearing his clothes. His fragrance washed all over him, and it made him feel overwhelmed with happiness. He brought the collar to his nose and inhaled as he basked in the citric aroma before smiling to himself, putting the soft shirt against his lips before letting go. 

"Hey Haruki," he called out. 

"Hm?" 

"Where should I put my concert clothes?" 

"Oh! Give them to me, I'll put them in the laundry basket," he heard the sound of shuffling, some footsteps then 3 knocks on the door. "Can I come in?" Aki hummed in approval before he backed up, Haru swinging open the door and instantly his eyes went wide and his face was blushing immensely. 

"O-oh. Oh wow- that really uh- it really suits you, I- uh-" Haruki couldn't help but eye him up and down as he crept out from the door. Especially his chest, which he couldn't take his eyes off of. It was quite tight around that area, his pectoral muscles stretching the fabric out by a bit and he gulped. 

" The t-shirt looks quite tight on you..." his voice trailed off. "...but the sweatpants look good-" 

"Oi, eyes are up here, Haru," Akihiko smirked, watching his partner turn red at that comment with an annoyed look on his face as he motioned him to give him the clothing in his hands. "Anyway, I'll meet you at the living room, I've started brewing some coffee so just help yourself once it's done," he said before he disappeared behind the door, a faint blush still tinting his ear. Aki chuckled in amusement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was writing Akihiko's panic attack scene, I had a few second thoughts on adding it because Aki has slept on the couch before, he's seen it before, but why would he be triggered over it? And then I was thinking that maybe he's tried to repress it so hard that he forgot that it happened, not entirely, but like he wanted to, and did forget, all of the explicit details and when he moved out for a few months he literally just focused on improving himself and didn't dwell on his mistake, which is why it evoked that kind if reaction from him bc it reminded him of the events. 
> 
> As well as this, I wrote this scene based on my own experiences with panic attacks, so I'm sorry if it may not seem as accurate to some of you 😔
> 
> I hope this isn't too out of personality for him! I wanted him to seem as if he could express his feelings more now that he has someone who he truly trusts.
> 
> SIDE NOTE (01/03/21) : Me outlining the trauma from Akihiko's POV doesn't mean that I'm dismissing Haruki's trauma too, nor does this justify what Akihiko did. I just wanted to make this clear hehe ^^ enjoy reading the final chapter <3


	3. i fell in love one day in autumn.

Two coffee rings stained the glass table behind them as Akihiko and Haruki watched the movie that was put on. The two men could both feel themselves getting alot more confident in themselves as a couple, as the movie progressed and Haru found himself shuffling on the floor to get a bit closer to Aki. The taller was pleased that his partner was gaining a bit more confidence in himself, the bassist leaning into him and resting his head on his shoulder. He cherished the wholesome feeling, a warm, fuzzy sensation arising in his chest. He's been wanting something like this for such a long time, specifically from Haruki.

Akihiko has had moments like this with previous lovers, but this one was different. It felt genuine and requited. Truth is, he has been unknowingly pining for him ever since they made eye contact with eachother on campus, and only realised his feelings on Given's first live performance in the Summer of last year. It felt like electricity sparked between them as they looked at eachother for that one moment. Even after so many bumps in the road he was so happy that all of that eventually led to something like this and it felt too good to be true.

The credits from the movie began to roll, and Haruki lifted his head, Akihiko already missing the weight of him settled into the crook between his neck and shoulder.

Haru checked his pink phone, "Oh my god, It's almost 4am! We really lost track of time, huh?" 

"What? Really??" Akihiko jolted up before he stood up and stretched, picking up the mugs from the table and put them in the sink. "That went by way too fast."

Haruki hummed in agreement before he himself stood up, stretched, then went to where Akihiko was washing the mugs. He took out a packet of antibacterial wipes from a cabinet next to him before wiping the coffee table from stains and crumbs. 

"Look at us acting all domestic and cleaning my apartment," The older said before laughing softly to himself. The drummer smiled to himself, hoping that one day it could be their apartment. Wishful thinking. 

"Anyway I guess it's off to bed with us after this," Haruki threw the wipes in the bin and the packet back in the cabinet before going to the bathroom to wash his hands. 

Akihiko stopped midway washing the soap sud covered mug before resuming. Does this mean he's going to have to sleep there again? He did it before, but honestly, back when the whole situation happened, it felt like a punishment. Everytime he sunk into it, he would wallow in all the terrible things that he did and wouldn't be able to grasp even a wink of sleep on the first week he stayed. 

"Ah, yeah, I'll make my bed on the couch after I finish this," he murmured, as he rinsed the mugs under warm water before putting them on the rack and drying his hands. 

Haruki heard that tinge of sadness in his voice and a low feeling jabbed at his heart. 

Akihiko made his way back to the living area and began adjusting the pillows, the feeling of those memories purging him once more before he saw his partner step out the bathroom from the corner of his eye. 

"What's up?" he set a pillow on the side before he turned to Haruki who walked towards him, very timid and restless about something.

"Um, Aki ?" 

"Yeah?" 

His slender fingers intertwined between Aki's and he tucked a hair behind his ear.

"Do you uh..." Haruki's eyes darted to the bedroom as a blush crept on his cheeks. "Uhm," the colour darkened to a scarlet red. Aki's eyes widened as his mind anticipated what he was going to ask, his own face heating up when his head wandered into a dark place before quickly telling it to fuck off because they were far from doing something like that. 

"Yeah? Want to what?" he blurted out. 

"Do you wanna sleep with me?" 

Akihiko's head short circuited as he repeated what he said in his head, blinking blankly at Haruki. Wait a minute...

"...what- do you- are you being serious--" 

"AH WAIT! WAIT- I phrased that really WEIRDLY! Fuck, my bad!" he whined, covering his face with his hands as he shook his head. "What I meant to say is," he sighed before turning his head towards the bedroom, "Do you want to sleep in my bed? Like, share?" 

Akihiko was planted in his spot for a while, his hand loose in Haruki's palm as he stared into his caramel eyes. 

Purely out of shock, he spluttered, "Haruki? Are you drunk, still?" as if he wasn't tipsy himself. It was one thing to kiss, but another thing to share a bed with someone. Was Haru really willing to be so physically close to him? 

"Huh? Of course not! I'm sober," he exclaimed. Lies. "Well, I'm not completely, but I'm not wasted..." the bassist murmured. 

"So, drunk still."

Haruki rolled his eyes fondly, crossing his arms and gave him a gentle smile. "Listen, you don't deserve to sleep there anymore, because you're not just a roommate anymore - you're my _boyfriend_." 

Haruki took his hand and guided him to his bedroom gently. 

"Plus, it's alot more comfy on here, and I haven't really shared a bed with someone in a while..."

Akihiko's mouth was parted like he was about to say something, but he really couldn't move and his feet walked by themselves, letting them be dragged along as his boyfriend led him to his dim room. The only thing he could feel was his face burning up, eyebrows raised slightly, and Haru's soft hand in his. 

"I trust you now, and you know I'll tell you if I ever feel uncomfortable," The two were in the dark room together now before Haruki let go of his hand and placed his glasses on the nightstand next to his bed before he climbed onto the bed and under the green covers, resting on his side. What he said felt so genuine and sweet, and he couldn't bring himself to protest against him. With Haru's hazy stare and his alcohol flushed cheeks, it was hard to say no, especially how he was already looking like he was giving in to the fatigue of the night. Slowly, he blinked in and out of consciousness. He just looked so serene and soft, his blonde hair falling lazily over his head as he snuggled closely into the duvet. 

"Come on, It's 4am," Haruki patted the space beside him as a small, shy smile spread on his lips before rolling back on his back. Akihiko managed to cough out an "Okay" as he crept under the covers. The duvet was soft and warm, the pillow cozy as his body sunk right into the mattress. Again, there was that tinge of citric fragrance engulfing him and he couldn't help but smile at himself. He rolled onto his side as he stared at Haruki who yawned like a small kitten. So fucking cute. 

"Goodnight," he muttered. 

... 

"G'night, Haru."

... 

_Hah._

_What did Akihiko think was going to happen?_

His smile dropped and his expression relaxed dismally. The drummer shook his head at his own thoughts before flipping himself on his back. He stared emotionlessly at the lampshade that dangled in the center of the dark room contemplating. He didn't expect much of course, but he was hoping for the tiniest bit of physical contact while they slept. A hand against his chest would have been enough for him. 

He was probably just being desperate for attention, and maybe he'd have to suck it up and accept the fact that this is close as they are ever going to get. Even though he knew he was merely jumping to conclusions, his head couldn't help but second guess itself. 

He tried to distract himself by thinking about the things that have happened throughout the years, specifically Haruki and what his relationship with him was like from his perspective. 

The man was pining for him for 2 years. He wonders how he must have felt like back then when Aki was merely just a crush to him. When their eyes met in the class where Haru asked if he played the drums, what did he first think of him? He wondered if he came off as threatening and brooding and if he scared Haru at all, which was the case for most. Akihiko didn't know much about him during these times, until they actually formed the band that was previously named The Seasons.

From then, their relationship slowly bloomed, and with that came with teasing and many great moments between them. Although it was all fun and games however, he imagined how it felt to be constantly teased by your crush. Someone who was constantly being handsy and touchy with and flirting with you constantly. 

He imagined how much that must have excited him, but also hurt him. He felt the second hand pain that he initially imagined Haruki to feel and it stung. He probably felt like he was being played with his heartstrings most of the time, often being left it the dark about his feelings.

Akihiko must have made him feel like he was chasing after nothing, and he must've known that, but he just kept running and running with a false sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Aki felt the same way too. 

Little did he know, he did feel the same, but at that time he had someone who was waiting for him at home and it wasn't right. But Haruki didn't know. 

Eventually, he snapped. It hurt to have feelings for an unrequited crush. 

He could barely sympathise with how utterly broken Haruki must have felt when he realised that the person who he loved was aware of how he felt towards him. He knew, and Aki did nothing but torture his desires, both knowing damn well that he had a boyfriend at the time. Not once did he ever say anything. Throughout the years he was scared of those emotions and revealing it towards him, scared to push one of his close friends away. He must have tried so hard to bury those feelings, for the sake of himself and the band but they were too strong. And for that secret to be ripped straight out his mouth and forced against him.

In the most disgusting, sickening way possible. 

That night, when Akihiko took advantage of his fragile feelings, he severed his locks of gold along with years of pining and he had enough of his heart being strung along. He gave up on love. 

Akihiko layed still for a long period of time, paralysed by his own thoughts. Because they were terrifying. 

What if...what if he never stopped? What if he kept going? What if he never listened to Haruki or snapped out of it? 

His stomach tensed, twisting crudely at the thought. His hands grew cold and an unpleasant chill ran down his back violently. He thought about it and imagined it. He didn't want to imagine it. But he saw it. 

He wanted to throw up. 

He couldn't understand how he had the audacity to hurt someone like Haruki. A man so generous and devoted to his passions, always willing to help out. Such a beautiful person, both inside and out.

Spending time with Haruki in his apartment made him realise this, just how nice he is, and how horrible Akihiko was. It made him wonder: _how could he even love someone like me?_

"....God, I'm a selfish fucking bastard." Akihiko thought to himself before sighing.

He tossed himself to the side where he stared blankly into the dark bedroom. He attempted to try and get some rest to shut his mind, but it was like cold TV static constantly engraving in the back of his mind as more doubts about himself and his relationship with Haruki drained into his head. He groaned quietly as he turned face down into the mattress, burying his face into the pillow. Aki focused on the sound of the gentle ticking of the clock which echoed around the room. He huffed, counting the seconds which passed as pondered deep in his thoughts, letting it swallow him because he felt like he deserved the shame. His breathing threatened to heighten and his mind was spiraling as he gripped the sides of his pillow out of frustration. 

"Can't sleep either, huh? Are you alright?" Akihiko heard the shuffle of bedsheets as he turned his head. Haruki propped himself up with his elbow on his side and was staring back at him with restless eyes and a very gentle look of concern. Gorgeous. 

"Mm, could be better," Aki murmured, "I have something on my mind."

"Ah okay, wanna talk about it?" 

"Yeah, sure..." the drummer leaned on his side and heaved a sigh, maybe he could get his mind off of a few things by talking to Haruki. "I'm curious, what did you think of me before we got together? Like, way back?"

"Ah, hmm..." Haru thought for a moment. "Well, for a start, when I first saw you upclose during that one lecture I thought damn, his side profile? Sharp and hot as FUCK." They both laughed softly, hard emphasis on the last word. "I mean, as I got to know you as a person though, you're nothing like the scary guy I imagined you to be." He sighed and closed his eyes, rolling back on his back with his hands behind his head. "You're kind and you care about alot of things, not to mention you're a big softie under those piercings and tough appearance," Haruki opened his eyes and looked at Akihiko who seemed quite flustered at the handful comments he just received. "It's what made me like you in the first place."

Aki's stomach had butterflies and felt a tingling sensation in his heart as he smiled to himself. "So, what about my first impressions on you?" Haruki responded. 

"Oh, that's easy, like when I saw you the first time, I thought that you were really cute and you still are." Akihiko reached out to tuck a hair that was drooping in front of his face, to which Haruki smiled shyly to. "Like, everything about you is just adorable, like even your name, your personality...god I could go on and on..."

The bassist scoffed and rolled his eyes bashfully, "You can stop now," his face warming up. 

"Also when I tease you and you'd do that thing where you would cover your face too? I can never get tired of it, and it's adorable." 

"Ah shut up..." Haruki murmured, bringing to duvet to his grin. "And now, I get to do it more now that we're a couple," Aki smirked, to which his boyfriend reacted with hiding his blushing face underneath the covers. 

"Hey, come back out so I can see that pretty face of yours~" 

"Noooo~ I'm sleepy and I don't know how to deal with feelings..."

The two men chuckled quietly before sighing, Haruki crawled from underneath the duvet, laying on his back and the silence dawned. 

Suddenly, Aki's expression eased back as he stared hard into the dimly lit room. It's not exactly what he wanted to say. He really hated to kill the atmosphere, but if he never said it then it could never be resolved. He allowed the quiet to sink in the air for a bit before bringing up the topic. 

"Anyway, that's not what I wanted to ask."

"Huh?" The other sat up cross legged too, his eyebrows creasing ever so slightly at the sudden change of tone in his voice, "what's up then?" 

"Speaking of us as a couple," Akihiko sat up. "Are you...scared in any way?" 

"Ah-" Haruki fell into silence for a minute, sitting up as well and bringing his knees to his chest, surprised by the sudden question.

...

"Be honest, okay? No rush."

... 

"Well," he fiddled with his hands gently. Haru sighed, "In a way, I am." Akihiko turned his head to face the man next to him. The sapphire moonlight emitting from the window hit him softly, his eyes glinting with a certain sparkle. 

"But, it's not you, it's mostly just I'm scared of what other people are gonna think of us," he sighed. 

"Take-Chan for example, I know you two don't click together very well, he's probably going to give me a lecture on being with you. But, he's always been like that, even when I was with my previous partners."

Haruki chuckled quietly to himself before looking up at his ceiling. 

"He's like an overprotective brother, but I know he's happy with something if I'm happy, so he's the least of my concerns."

Akihiko hummed in agreement.

"It's more or so people like...like Uecchi. I mean, you even said it yourself, but I'm not sure if Uenoyama will be angry with us or not." 

Haru looked back down to his knees. "We initially agreed on not dating anyone in the band, but since Mafuyu came along..."

"You're the leader of the band though, shouldn't you decide the rules?" Aki objected, "I don't think it's fair that he can get what he wants and not us, especially when he wasn't the one who made this band in the first place. I don't see how they can have their fun but all of a sudden it's a problem when we get together, does that not bother you at all?"

"I know, it annoys me too, but I don't want any kind of fights sparking up in the band," Haruki huffed, "relationships literally tore apart the one I was in when Aya-chan, my ex, was the vocalist, and I don't want that to happen to Given because I want to keep performing with you all." 

"It doesn't make it any better that the four of us are in relationships with our band members, let alone other guys."

Haruki hummed in agreement, "crazy how something so small could spread like wildfire online and kill our career like that." 

Small raindrops began to patter gently on the window, the calming ambience filling in the silent gap between the two. 

“So, how about you? How do you feel about us being together?”

Akihiko sat quiet for a second before a long, exasperated sigh emptied from his lips as he shuffled forward and flumping his back onto the soft mattress. 

“Well, truth be told, I’m very scared about our relationship," he huffed out. 

“Really?” Haru was actually surprised by his answer, “You’re the kind of person to dive head first into relationships, though”

“Exactly, that’s why I’m- scrap that- I'm _terrified_... ” Akihiko was well aware on how he would jump into the water before testing the temperature. That’s how he hurt himself. Not to mention every single person who managed to get with him were merely carbon copies of the previous. Aki knew how they were wired and knew what every person wanted from him the most. Not a proper relationship. And it was a constant rinse and repeat. They would come along, date him, they would have sex, and eventually Akihiko would get bored and break up with them because they were the same as any other previous partner. 

That’s why he was so hesitant to ask Haruki out in the first place.

He’s not like the others, and he learnt that the hard way.

"...but why? You're such a sweet guy that everyone swoons for as soon as you walk by, along with you are so talented and an amazing role model for the younger band members too, and you'll help anyone out!" Haru exclaimed, "You're so cool on the drums too, like when you do that spinny thing with the drumstick or the little tapping thing on the side of the snare, god, it gives me chills and I-" 

"There it is," Akihiko chuckled, pointing at his flustered face. 

A confused stutter came from Haruki's lips, as his eyes widened in confusion as he shuffled his entire body towards Akihiko, his hands planted by his sides on the mattress. His face was deepening into a blush as Haruki looked down at his boyfriend. "What do you mean by that?" he spluttered. 

"It's because you genuinely care about me and my personality and talent, and it's so different for me to actually have someone who acknowledges me for something other than my looks or what I can do it bed in a relationship, and it's...it's very new to me."

Haruki's eye's widened as he watched him sit back up and lean against the bed rest, loosely crossing his arms as he brought his legs up halfway. 

" And...I noticed this when I realised that I never wanted you to find out about things that I did when I was with Ugetsu, I wanted to be judged by...literally _anyone_ but you. I didn't want to risk losing someone who cares for me because of the stupid shit I decided to do, yknow? But," he scoffed and muttered quietly to himself, "that backfired in the worst way possible, and you...you had to see that side of me and I-" 

"Akihiko," Haruki interrupted. 

He halted his words before he had a chance to spiral in his own thoughts and heaved out a sigh, "Hah, sorry, my bad," Haruki continued to listen intently to what he had to say. 

"What I did was...terrible and I still don't expect to be fully forgiven from you. In fact, I don't even know why you decided to stay with me in the first place, you honestly spoiled me and yet you still do, and I don't understand why, and I'm still trying to comprehend it." 

The older was surprised by his words, and how open he was being with him, but it made Haruki feel special that he was trusted as much as this, especially with Akihiko who seemed like the person who would usually shut his emotions from other people. 

"I don't want to burden you with all of my thoughts and struggles either, because I know you have some of your own, and I don't want that feeling of responsibility overwhelming you out or anything. It's stressful enough that we gotta keep all of this relationship stuff a secret from Uecchi and Mafuyu."

Haruki's face relaxed and he let a soft smile tug at his mouth, "Aki, listen, you deserve as much love and care as you give to me, alright?" 

Akihiko turned his head to Haruki, who was hesitantly wrapping his arms around his, not long before leaning into his shoulder and breathed in his musky wooden scent which made him ease with happiness and cuddle into him, legs leaning into his. A tinge of happiness hit Aki's heart.

"I've always wanted this, something like this with you, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around how it became a reality because...the fact that I can call you my boyfriend," he smiled wide as he nuzzled his cheek on Akihiko's arm, "aah, it makes me so happy!"

The other began to blush faintly as he leaned his head to rest on top of Haruki's, humming in agreement. 

"So I want you to be 100% honest with me, and I will too. Remember that It's normal to feel sad, alright? And I'm here to help you if you need it. You don't have to hide from me, because _I love you_." 

Maybe the fatigue of the night was starting to hit him emotionally, but Akihiko's eyes began to well up with tears, as he let a smile tug at his lips and a glad, shaky sigh quivered from his lips. 

"It's okay if you want to cry."

"I don't think I will but- ack, _fuck_..."

As Haruki murmured that a single tear ran down his cheek before he rubbed it away with his free hand.

**_I love you._**

Hearing Haruki say that to him felt so good. And so right. So genuine and requited. 

He's always wanted this from Haruki. It only took 2 years and a live show to realise, but to be able to share a mutual feeling with such a wonderful man...

"I love you too..." he managed to choke out. "Thank you for everything, just, wait a min-" Akihiko chuckled softly to himself as he wiped the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes with the back of his hand. It was embarrassing for Haruki to see him like this, so vulnerable and exposed with his raw emotion, but he was glad to feel so validated by the man he loved the most. He hasn't been able to feel so emotional in such a long time. It was terrifying to let someone into his heart again, but he was certain Haru would take good care of him. 

Aki huffed out a sigh before staring back at his boyfriend who smiled so sweetly that he couldn't help but smile back. 

"Aki, can I hug you?" 

"You don't even have to ask."

And then, there was the hug of gentle arms that still gives the space to breathe as the bassist wrapped them around Akihiko's chest pulling him close, his boyfriend's around his waist as the only thing he could hear was the rain tapping gently against the window and the trembling exhales that managed to escape from Akihiko's lips.

Aki buried his face into Haruki's shoulder to suppress any tears, before he muttered into his ear in the deepest, but most tender voice that he ever heard Akihiko utter.

**_"You really are the best thing that's ever happened to me."_ **

Haruki sat still and didn't say anything, his arms easing before he held him tighter as the realisation hit, and he let himself be hit by the emotional wave that overwhelmed him as he sharply inhaled before letting the many tears tumble down his cheeks. 

Ever since Haruki heard Mafuyu's song, he felt really lonely. And he hated it. Seeing Uenoyama and Mafuyu as a couple made him long and crave for such attention, that it made him feel worthless and irrelevant if he didn't have someone who cared for him. Everyday felt the same. Staring at the cieling in the dark, with the same old empty feeling in his heart which only smouldered as days passed. 

But. 

Burying his face into Akihiko's shoulder sobbing quietly, his arms wrapped around his chest and Aki's holding him close by the waist: at that moment, it hit him. 

Because this was real life, not some scene he fantasised about in his head all those years ago, he is dating the man he's chased for so long. He was here in his arms. And Aki's touch made the room warmer somehow, his future within its walls seeming a little less bleak.

This is what it felt like. 

To have a purpose. 

To be important. 

To be **_wanted_**. 

Akihiko's big, strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around his body. The world around Haruki melted away as he squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.

"I- Akihiko..." he choked.

"Are you crying?"

Haruki scoffed before choking out a sarcastic remark through tears, "No, I'm drooling on your back excessively," he hit his hand softly on the back of his head, resulting in a small "oof" from Akihiko. "Besides, you were about to cry on me anyway," he croaked between sniffs, as the two men laughed, "of course I'm crying, Aki, you make me so happy and I'm just- I don't know how we got here, but I'm so glad that this is where we ended up."

"I am as well," They let go and stared at eachother lovingly. Haruki's face glistened softly from tears under the ethereal light of the moon as Akihiko used both of his large hands to hold his cheeks gently, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears in his eyes and caressing his cheekbone. 

"I never want to see you cry this hard over something bad, though." He let his hands brush the hair out of Haruki's face, which began to stick to him because of his tears. "I hurt you once and I don't want to do that again." 

"You won't," Haruki sniffled.

"But, if someone else makes you cry like that? Tell me and I'll beat the shi-" 

"Okay, I get it," They both snickered, interrupting the graphic tangent that Aki was about to go on by bringing a finger to his lips before putting his hand aside.

Tears still gently rolled down Haruki's cheeks as Akihiko still held him in his hands. He continued to slowly run his hand through his short locks of hair as his eyes trailed from Haruki's to, well...

He couldn't focus on one aspect of Haruki, as his eyes wandered around his face. From the crinkle of his eyes to the wobbly smile that trembled on his lips. Even the blush making his nose slightly red from crying. Everything about him was truly perfect, and he was going to make sure that Haruki would recognise this about himself as they became a couple.

Haruki fell weak to his loving gesture, his eyes fluttering shut with ease as Akihiko massaged his scalp and wiped his cheeks away from tears with the back of his hand.

For such a tough looking guy, he had such a sweet soft spot that he just adored. 

"How come you're still crying, Haru?" Akihiko smiled with raised eyebrows. 

"I just," he swiped his thumb below Haru's eyes, "I don't know I can't stop it, sorry-" 

"Want me to make you feel better?" 

His calloused finger lifted his chin lightly, Haruki shivering as the hand in his hair drifted to the back of his neck, where his fingers rested on his nape and his thumb just below his ear. Akihiko's dark green eyes lowered to meet the bassist's tempting lips. 

Before another word could be uttered, Aki leaned in ever so gently so that his lip piercing grazed against his partner's, almost as if nuzzling him, before Haruki smiled in approval as their lips connected. They were warm and inviting, almost sparking a heat which surged throughout Haruki's body. His kisses were always electrifying. Tilting his face, Akihiko opened his mouth slightly as he deepened the kiss. The only thing Haruki could do was lean forward, a smouldering desire for more of such physical affection that he almost lost himself in his lips. It's as if all his sadness dissipated into thin air as they kissed, the sensation of his piercing leaving him wanting more. 

He chased after his lips as Akihiko pulled away, before realising how desperate Haruki must have been as he smirked at the blushing man who was also caught off guard by how desperate he was. 

"Better?" 

Their breaths were mingling as Akihiko put his forehead against Haruki's, and at that moment, he was just too damn tempting to not ravish him right then and there as his hooded eyes gazed into his. 

"Mhm, not really," his tone shifted to a much more mischievous one, his blush deepening reminiscent of his hidden desire as he requested shyly, "do you mind doing that again?" 

Akihiko raised his eyebrows before they relaxed and a teasing smile spread on his lips. "I didn't think you'd ask, babe."

Haruki shuddered at the nickname that he was given, it rolled off of his tounge so smoothly and perfectly before Aki pressed his lips against his, hungrier this time. He could feel the hand behind him feeling him through his loose shirt, along with burying his hand into the back of his hair.

It's as if the bassist couldn't control himself, the sensation of every single touch and feel overwhelming him in the best way possible that he couldn't help but get on his knees and shuffle closer towards Akihiko who propped himself firmly against the headboard. 

Aki lowered his legs to allow Haruki to clamour on and straddle him in-between, his soft thighs pressing against his as the two continued to make out passionately. 

Haruki wrapped his arms around his shoulders as he felt his boyfriend's big hands roam across his back before he rested them on the side of his waist, slowly rubbing him up and down so that his shirt was pulled along, exposing his pretty bare waist. 

Akihiko pulled away from Haru, admiring his flustered, panting face, but also looking out for signs of discomfort. The bassist looked back with a small giggle, Aki taking it as a sign that it was alright. He moved his lips to his neck where he planted breathy, open mouth kisses from his neck to Haruki's collar bone, worshiping him because it's what he deserved. The older could only tilt his neck, his eyes fluttered shut as the warm sensation of his breath made him feel weak, with small mewls of pleasure which only made Akihiko more desperate. 

As Aki's lips traced across his boyfriend's collarbone, he stopped at the very end near his shoulder as he opened his mouth and let his teeth graze his soft skin. 

"Do it, please," he purred. 

As soon as the last word trailed from his mouth, he bit and sucked at the spot which evoked a low groan of pleasure from Haruki in Aki's ear which sent blood rushing down to the half chub in his pants that quickly became a full erection. After making his mark, he let the tounge piercing roll across the sensitive skin, resulting with a sweet, long moan to escape from Haruki's lips as Akihiko pulled away from his neck, a thin string of saliva connecting his tounge to the faint bruise before breaking, and admired the red turning purple mark that he made on his pale neck. And that _sound_ that Haruki just made. 

Haru opened his eyes in realisation before they widened and his expression fell stiff before covering his mouth and hiding his face behind his hands from embarrassment, the audio of him moaning looping in his head as he buried his face in Akihiko's shoulder and let out an exasperated "waaahh..." he wanted to bury himself in the duvet for being so loud. 

The other chuckled, "don't be so embarrassed," he murmured as he rubbed his back before letting go of him, resting his head against the headboard as Haruki leaned back and dropped his hands to his side and shyly diverted his eyes to the mattress. 

"So," Akihiko's hand rested on his own inner thigh near his crotch, tapping his index finger as he gazed seriously at Haruki's eyes. "Are we actually willing to go this far tonight? I mean, it's kind of ironic that we, well I, talked about this, but the direction in where this is going is...kinda quick, I'm not gonna lie." Aki scratched the back of his head as he looked at his boyfriend who was still blushing from their make out session, slowly drifting back into a proper mindset.

"We're fairly sober and honestly I'm fine if you want to, but I don't think we don't have the clearest consciousness right now since it's like, 4am..." 

The older blinked and looked down at both of the situations in their pants before their eyes met. Needless to say, he was flustered by the size in Aki's trousers, and, being honest, it was tempting, yet it was so late and he couldn't think straight at all. He didn't want to risk waking up the next day and regretting anything. All of the alcohol he took was numbing his common sense, along with the fact that there was still that tinge in Haruki's heart that was scared to do something so intimate in this moment in time. 

It was the right call. 

Haruki's lips parted before he huffed with a gentle smile and a sweet look. 

"You're right, I don't even know what got into me when we started doing all of that stuff, to be honest," he huffed "And, I think it might be a bit too early for us to do anything..."

Haruki smirked as a mischevious glint sparkled in his eyes, "yet, in the future," before returning to it's original expression. 

"Oho, if you say so, I can wait~" Akihiko purred, before they both laughed and embraced eachother with a big hug. 

They pulled away, Haruki's arms wrapped around the back of his neck while Aki's were placed on his waist. He looked at the older's eyes which crinkled at thee corners as he grinned at him, and it made him feel copious amounts of euphoria. He didn't need sex to make him feel happy when he already felt so much joy when having Haruki in his arms, it was already more than enough. 

"Thank you for telling me, Haruki, I wanted to make sure that we weren't rushing, because I wanted our first time to be memorable and not when we're half sober and sleep deprived...and honestly now that I'm sobering up we definitely were rushing things there..." 

"Oh yeah, definitely, but thanks for asking me that, you slapped some sense into me." Haruki kissed the tip of Akihiko's nose. 

"Really? _You're_ the one who slaps sense into _me_! This is new."

Haruki giggled in response, "guess so, oh, and don't worry about making the first time memorable, though, I already know it's going to be, mister lady's man," he winked jokingly. 

"Hey, I'm _your_ man now, and only _you_ will get that kind of 'treatment' from me...if you catch my drift," Aki wiggled his eyebrows in a way which resulted in the two young adults to burst into laughter before recovering slowly back into smiles. 

"I'm serious by the way," he said, fully calmed from his laughing high, "I'm only for you." His tone was attentative and calm, and Haru couldn't help but keep his gaze on those green, mallow eyes as he spoke, "and when the time comes to doing something like that again, I don't know when, but, I want to make that special and enjoyable for you, because a person like you deserves it."

Akihiko's hands slid to Haruki's, taking his soft hands in his and grasping it firmly in a loving way, bringing them to his lips and placing a gentle kiss between them before putting them down again. He looked back at his boyfriend. 

The bassist was in such a tranquil state of happiness as a shy hue of pink tickled his cheeks, he couldn't stop smiling. He wanted to hide his face in his hands from such genuinely sweet words, but held himself back and embraced reality, saying the first thing that came to his mind. 

"God, I love you so much, _honey_." 

The other reflected his gleeful expression, "you too," before he blinked, almost dumbfounded as he processed the last word he said in his head, " _h-honey_?" 

"Hon?- _oh-"_

Akihiko has never seen another person shift emotions so quickly, his content face stiffening before crumbling into a state of panic. Immediately attempting to take back what he said, his face smeared with shades of red in embarrassment as he shook his head and hands frantically. "AHH! I'm sorry was that stupid? I-i just figured that since you called me babe I could give you a nickname t- waaAAH!-"

Akihiko couldn't help but plant feather-light kisses on his neck, soft enough to tickle Haruki as he giggled and attempted to push him away from his light pecks, which only failed terribly as Aki chased after his neck, smoothing his hands up to his shoulder blades to prevent him from leaning back. They were being scattered everywhere and the bassist couldn't catch a break.

"A-Aki, stop! That tickles-" he snickered, as Akihiko's lips trailed to the hickey that he previously made and kissed it gently, the sensitive skin only intensifying the sensation as Haruki laughed. "WH-why are you e- HAHA! Why are you doing th-this?!"

"I can't help myself! You're going to kill me with how adorable you are!" he smiled into his collarbone as Haru's contagious chuckles filled the room. Despite his words, he only tilted his head to allow more room for him before he pulled them both to the side and with a _fwump_ they landed side by side on the mattress looking at eachother, foreheads touching as they both snickered. Haruki had slipped his arms underneath his as he held him close, his leg in-between his strong thighs as the other rested on top of his other before as they both sighed blissfully, grinning at eachother before the older yawned. 

"We gotta go to bed, it's probably light out already," Haruki giggled before he pulled the duvet towards both of them, shielding the two from the cold room with the warmth from eachother's company.

"Aw, and I was having so much fun~" 

Haru pecked at his boyfriend's lips before burying his face into the crook of Akihiko's neck, "there's still tommorrow, well, today, I'll cook breakfast for us."

"Ah, you don't have to, you know?" 

"I insist, honestly."

"Well, if you say so, but make sure to wake me up so I can help you, alright?" 

"Hah, alright," he murmured into him. "What are we thinking? Omurice? I can make a really good one."

"Hmm, sure! I can make the fried rice-" 

Haruki lifted his head up from his neck and gave Akihiko a blank, unimpressed stare who sneered back with a mischievous smile. The other raised his eyebrows before huffing out a short laugh. 

"You making fried rice? Again?" 

"What? So do you just want Jasmine rice with egg? I was actually joking, but damn, if you _reeaally_ want such a _boring, plain_ _breakfast-_ "

Haruki rolled his eyes in defeat, "Pff fine, you have a point, but this time," he pouted, "we're using a different recipe."

" _Fiiiiinnne-_ " Akihiko sighed, "Now let's go to bed so I can wake up early and make my signature dish to spite you."

"Hah, bet, if I cuddle close with you I bet you won't go anywhere," Haruki teased, nuzzling his face back into his shoulder and hugging him tighter, "You wouldn't _dare_ wake me up," the couple chuckled softly, Akihiko muttering a "you're not wrong," before they both let out a sigh. 

"Alright, for real now," Haruki kissed Akihiko's neck, "Goodnight Aki, I love you."

"I love you too, babe. Sleep well."

With a small smile spread across Haru's lips, he fell to the fatigue, snuggling close to Akihiko's body heat, his musky, almost spicy, scent lulling him to sleep. 

The drummer rested his lower face on his partner's head, his lips against his silk-like hair. His mind was quiet, the soft rain against the window the only thing that he could hear. 

He still refused to believe this was real. It was all too good to be true. The fact that the man with the sweetest smile and the kindest heart was for him to call him his was still a concept that seemed way too far from his reach. As Haruki's chest rose and fell against his, he couldn't help but feel such a great sense of tranquility, his eyelids eventually fluttering shut as he allowed himself to fall to a deep slumber, despite the faint rising sun peeking through the glass of the window as birds sang their morning song. 

His hand crept up and combed through Haru's short hair, rubbing the ends resulting from a low hum of happiness from Haruki. 

Everyday his hair was growing longer, bit by bit, and Akihiko hoped that one day his hair would eventually grow back to it's original length because of him. To see it sway from side to side as he played the bass, to see it tied in the cutest bun as he cooked, to thread his hands through it as he kissed him slowly. And he would be here to watch it grow as the years go by every day. 

But right now, he had to be patient, but that was alright. Anything to never let him go. Right now, it was only grazing just below his ear, but eventually that would grow to a wonderful length. 

That night, as Akihiko fell asleep, he had a dream. He could hear the low hum of the bass vibrate through the walls of their apartment as he used a key and unlocked the door. Sitting on the couch comfortably, he was greeted by Haruki's gorgeous long hair that spilt way past shoulder length. 

It was a humid day, the sun shining like gold as the warm light accentuated all the subtle hue shifts in his hair colour, similar to glossy drips of honey, along with his thin framed glasses the same colour which were propped upon the bridge of his nose. 

Haruki was wearing a light orange hoodie with black shorts as he played the bass. His slender fingers plucked the thick brass strings skillfully and he strung each one so eloquently that it almost looked as if he was stroking them like a grunge harp. His Bose headphones plugged in, he appeared to be humming a sweet unknown melody, possibly a new song that Mafuyu composed wrote, as he bobbed up and down to the groove of the bass line. As soon as he heard the click of the door open and close, Haru's eyes flicked up to meet his and he slipped off the headphones around his neck, his lips spreading into the most welcoming grin and a rosy blush spread across his cheeks as he waved.

With a prominent golden ring around his index finger. 

_...ah, I understand now._

He looked at the hazelnut brown eyes that shone almost copper when the warm light from the sun hit them in his dream. 

_I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you._

*

**_An ordinary love story._ **

**_In a certain ordinary spring._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! It's finally done, and it was a long one! I'm so sorry for the wait, but it's finally out! I was very busy with commissions and schoolwork, and so as soon as I had free time I used it to finish Songs Like Magic. Thank you all so much for the support on this fic, I don't think I would have finished it if it weren't for all your lovely comments to motivate me. This is the first fanfic with multiple chapters that I've finished, and it makes me ecstatic that so many people enjoyed it. I hope this was an ending that you were all looking forward to! I'm very tempted to add an extra story, I love these boys too much. 💖✨
> 
> (EDIT: Changed some of the dialouge.)

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to leave Kudos! ❤️  
> Follow me on Instagram: @harukji  
> Follow me on Twitter: @HarukiIrl


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